It’s always nice to go check the weather and be greeted with a headline like Train vs. Tornado: See what wins. Almost exactly as awesome as a flaming bus ramp.

A tornado, as you recall if you’ve ever been in the Midwest between April and July, sounds just like a freight train. Wonder if the engineer even knew it was coming?

By the way - did you guys hear that Michael Jackson died? Weird, right?

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Once again we turn to reader Jennifer W., who once again sent in a gem of an ad:

Note: I didn’t make that clickable, because if you actually want a flag shirt, I feel like you should have to type in a URL. It will help you think just a bit harder about what you’re doing.

A couple newish blogs that everyone else has already linked to: Awkward Family Photos and Texts From Last Night.

And now both you and I can return to our regularly scheduled Sisyphian tasks. Laterz!

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It seems hardly enough to say that I’m troubled by this development. Should we now expect every band with one inexplicably popular album from 12 years ago to pop up during the breakfast hour? Will I soon be chewing through appearances by Lit, 3 Doors Down, Our Lady Peace, Marcy Playground, Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, The Verve Pipe, Semisonic, Stroke 9, Orgy, VAST, The Wallflowers, Tracy Bonham, Chumbawamba, The Verve, Sprung Monkey, Sixpence None The Richer, Duncan Shiek, The Chemical Brothers, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Marilyn Manson, Garbage, Third Eye Blind, Paula Cole, The New Romantics, The Prodigy, Eagle-Eye Cherry, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Sugar Ray, Smash Mouth, Fastball, Everclear, Eve 6, Creed, Natalie Imbruglia, Dishwalla, 311 and the Primitive Radio Gods?

‘Cause, you know, I’ll wanna be prepared.

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"It'll be all right, baby."

Yeah, it’s been a while. How are things? Good! Me too. Let’s round up some stuff we’ve missed:

More than 400,000 Brits listed themselves as Jedi in the 2001 census.

PK24 sent The Gazette a press release about their cream for rejuvenating your hoo-ha. I believe this is the first place we’ve used it.

During his routine scan for new products from the Netherlands, faithful reader Andy W. found this road kill carpet.

…and from Jennifer W., the Barack Obama Hand Fan, which the site describes as a “great advertising tool for funeral homes.” Because what better way to calm a grieving widow than with a reassuring photo of the coolest president ever?

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The clip showed a woman unzipping a man’s trousers, followed by a graphic act between the two.
“I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up,” viewer Cora King told the Arizona Daily Star.
“Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out.”

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-Monster truck promoter George Eisenhart, in an interview shortly before he was crushed to death by a monster truck.

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Click here for the shockingly adorable eyewitness report, via I Can Has Cheezburger.

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SUBWAY® RESTAURANTS, IN PARTNERSHIP WITH KONAMI DIGITAL ENTERTAINMENT, INC, WILL HAVE KIDS DANCING AT THEIR TABLES WITH DANCEDANCEREVOLUTION® PREMIUM

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